Damn. That was good. This longer version is more satisfying than the monologue you posted earlier.
Thank you! It really means a lot! I’m working on another short story entitled “Violet.”
I thought of two things. First, it seemed to me that Sarah disarmed her dad perhaps a little too easily. At the beginning Sarah states that Pa always left her alone. Then at the end, while sober, he nearly kills her. These actions seem a bit contradictory. Did I miss something in the story that would explain the behavior?
The wagon breaking is the breaking point for Sarah’s father. There’s not much money, and he knows he’s wasting it all at the saloon but doesn’t care. So, when Sarah and Sam try to save their mother and he shoots her, that is an act of desperation.
Shooting Sam is an act of further desperation, and somewhat an act of self-defense.
Now, he knows he never went after Sarah while drunk, so if he were to come home from the saloon, what would happen? His wife and son aren’t there to beat on, and he’s never hit his daughter before.
So, in a way, he’s cutting his losses. With no family to support that means a higher chance of survival for him. And surely he doesn’t expect his daughter, whom he has never struck, to turn his own gun on him. Because she has never hit him back during all his drunken rages, he never thought she would try anything now.
Utterly brilliant. Just really dissapointed that I don’t get to see how she turns out.
Thanks! I’ve been toying with the idea of turning it into a Novella.
You so should! Then tell me the moment I can buy it and read it!
I absolutely will! I’ll probably begin the planning on it tonight.
I can’t wait! 😀
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