The wife and I got a kitten. We figured, “Hey! Kittens are cute, and they’re little, and they do funny things with their appendages, and they have little meows!” So, now we have Buffy. Yes, exactly like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She looks like this:
And sometimes she looks like this:
Yeah, she’s pretty cute. But, what they don’t tell you is that kittens are the antagonist in the world of creativity. I’ve compiled a list of things kittens like to do to attempt to foil the creative protagonist:
- Hiss at the older cat — Upon entering the Stocking household, creativity was blocked due to high-intensity situations of hissing and swatting as the struggle for dominance ensued. Things have calmed down since.
- Enable cloaking device for maximum stealth — Buffy is small. She’s only about five weeks old. So, she fits into a lot of small spaces. For example, she fell behind the couch. She climbed up into the box spring of our bed. She climbs behind the bookcase. She hides under the bed and pokes her little paw out at passers-by. Creativity is blocked by needing to stay constantly vigilant to ensure the kitten isn’t stuck somewhere. However, this was mostly remedied by buying her a collar with a bell on it.
- Play ALL DAY with random bursts of nap-mode — Damn, kittens sure love to play. Buffy is no exception. She likes to dig her little claws into the carpet and pull herself along it. She likes to climb onto the couch and bed, and then jump off. She likes to play with nothing. She likes to jump at nothing, unless she hooks one of her claws on the side of the couch, in which case she sprints into the next room and then sneaks back in, ever vigilant for that damn couch goblin that keeps grabbing her. She also likes to randomly fall onto her side and take mini naps. COMPLETELY. AT. RANDOM. Then, moments later, it’s back up for more playing.
- Chew on all feet and fingers — Clearly, toes and fingers are the the creativity protagonist’s sidekicks, because when it’s time for Buffy to play, she digs her little claws into the closest toes or fingers. She also like to chew on them, because, well, feet are damn tasty.
- Walk on my keyboard — In an effort to contribute to my manuscripts, Buffy loves to walk on my keyboard while I’m writing. Usually she likes to type “dskjlfdfjffffffffffffffffffff,” or “lkapkpcjdjld0000000,” and sometimes I think she wants extra attention, because she’ll step on my power button and put my laptop to sleep. And I can never scroll on any page when Buffy is in sight of my screen. That sudden movement of colors and pictures send her into a crazy whirlwind of jumping and pouncing and running and further chewing on my fingers.
All in all, Buffy is crazy. She’s active. She’s a kitten.