Black Powder Brigade: Back Cover


I did some toying with the back-cover description of Black Powder Brigade, and I would love some feedback. I’m not entirely pleased with it yet, but I think I definitely have a solid base to work with. I think I need to work on the flow of it. It feels a bit choppy to me.

Let me know what you think!

 

THE HUNT FOR A MADMAN BEGINS…

The New World, 1773 – A group of elite soldiers known as the Black Powder Brigade patrol the world in secret, searching for strange and deadly creatures to ensure the natural order is safe. Some of these creatures evolved naturally, while others are created and bred.

Victoria Sorrel, operating under the lie that she is a boy, joins these men in their hunt for unusual creatures in hopes that it will satisfy her hunger for adventure. But, when a new creature referred to as the Bruta begins terrorizing the New World, things take a dark turn for Victoria and the Black Powder Brigade. Colonists come up missing, an unusual number of trade ships start to arrive at Boston Harbor, and the madman Isaac Carter is freed from prison.

The colonies become overwhelmed with monsters, murder, and betrayal.

The New World hangs in the balance, and it’s up to Victoria, the Black Powder Brigade, and some newly made friends to pry it from the clutches of evil.

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8 thoughts on “Black Powder Brigade: Back Cover

  1. I like it. The creatures sound interesting, and the thought of fighting them with old world weapons could be fascinating. One thing that spikes my attention is Issac Carter, why is a madman let out of prison? That part really stands out for me 🙂

  2. Chris. This is amazing. And I’m honestly not just saying that. If I didn’t know you, and I just picked this book off the shelf to read the back cover, I would’ve bought it. Seriously.

  3. Overall, this is a good teaser. There were a couple of sticky points that I would reconsider if it were me. This is my opinion only, and please disregard as you see fit.

    Some of these creatures evolved naturally, while others are created and bred.

    Comment: Somebody is doing genetic experimentation so that new creatures are “created” in 1776? Even if this is legitimate to the story and explained logically in the narrative, stated here, out of context, it raises questions that might make the reader think the author is making promises he can’t keep. I’d cut it.

    Victoria Sorrel, operating under the lie that she is a boy, joins these men in their hunt for unusual creatures in hopes that it will satisfy her hunger for adventure.

    Comment: This is good and I dig the female MC. Where this lapsed for me was that it was to “satisfy her hunger for adventure.” Is that it? I’d like to think her motives have more depth, particularly if she’s the MC the story follows. She lost her brother to one of these monsters or even, she has glimpsed a hidden horror that threatens mankind and is dedicated to stopping it.

    But, when a new creature referred to as the Bruta begins terrorizing the New World, things take a dark turn for Victoria and the Black Powder Brigade. Colonists come up missing, an unusual number of trade ships start to arrive at Boston Harbor, and the madman Isaac Carter is freed from prison.

    The colonies become overwhelmed with monsters, murder, and betrayal.

    The New World hangs in the balance, and it’s up to Victoria, the Black Powder Brigade, and some newly made friends to pry it from the clutches of evil.

    Comment: I love all of that. Big, sweeping brush strokes, but I get the gist of something larger in the peripheral. Good, back cover stuff. Just be sure you deliver on these promises in the book.

    As an aside – Have you considered a writer’s critiquing group to get feedback on your work? I’m active on http://splinter4all.com and if you sign up, I’m MitchLav. I write in a similar genre, and I’d love to read more of your work

    ML.

    • Mitch,

      Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it. I think you’re right about cutting the part about the Bruta. However, I find it interesting that you think I may not deliver on a large amount of the content of this description. However, I wrote it after writing most of the first draft, so I’ve taken these events directly from the manuscript. (Please don’t take that in a negative manner, I don’t mean it that way).

      Also, thank you, but I’m all ready a part of so many various social media and websites for critiques, I don’t really know what to do with all of them, haha. But should I ever sign up there, I’ll be sure to look for you.

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