My Name Is Chris Stocking And I’m An Introvert

Some of you may be thinking “you’re an introvert? So what?” Now, before I get into this, let me begin by saying that I’m certainly no expert on the psychological research of introversion and extroversion. All I have is personal experience.

Firstly, what is an introvert?

According to Meriam-Webster:

: to turn inward or in upon itself: as
a : to concentrate or direct upon oneself
b : to produce psychological introversion

Okay, but what does that mean? I can show you what it means to me by example.

As an introvert, I sometimes have a difficult time being around groups of people. I have trouble speaking in front of groups of people. It takes me longer to get used to new situations. I don’t openly speak my mind. I keep to myself a lot (i.e. I enjoy my privacy).

Alright, now that it’s cleared up… Still, so what?

Well, this affects me as a writer. Often times writers are seen as people who hole themselves up in their offices with only their mind, a pen/pencil/paper/computer, and a cup of tea/coffee for hours at a time, frantically scribbling down stories and ideas. This is, essentially, a fact. However, after publication (mostly), these writers must lurk in the outside world, talking about their books and their ideas. This is easier for some people (extroverts) than others (introverts).

In my opinion, extroverts have the easy life. They take charge, they’re not afraid to shout to the world and interact with people. I wish I could do that. However, when I have an author talk or book signing scheduled and I know I have to interact with people, it terrifies me a little. As an introvert, I’m afraid that the whole world will hate anything and everything I write (probably the part of me that wants me to just keep to myself). Then there’s the part where I’m afraid to waste people’s time. I’m afraid to ask people to do things for me, or to sometimes ask for input because I’m afraid that they have better things they could be doing than to be bothered with me. Now I don’t mean that in a self loathing kind of way, or that I don’t have confidence in myself, but that I’d rather please everyone else first, and just slink around under the radar doing my own thing. I’m perfectly content with that. But how am I supposed to sell books that way?

That’s what I find difficult, I guess. Putting myself out there. Contacting people whose time I may be compromising for my own personal gain.

I’m not saying this to get you all to feel bad for me. I’m saying this to help everyone get a better understanding of introverts, and I guess to get a little perspective on myself. Perhaps I’m not like other introverts, but I’m still one of them.

What about you? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you do some of these same things, for feel a similar way?


14 thoughts on “My Name Is Chris Stocking And I’m An Introvert

  1. Hello. I’m Tonja. I’m an introvert.

    I used to think there was something wrong with me, that I was socially awkward. As an adult, I know it’s just the way I’m wired. Truth is I wouldn’t be writing if I were an extrovert. I’d be talking to people or hanging out at a party or something. 🙂

  2. I like to party. But I’m usually the one off dancing, away with my own thoughts. Sitting & chatting ain’t my thing – except with people I know well.

    But, really, reading this post is like reading my own words. That’s me…

  3. Oh gosh, this is basically how I feel about my writing. I’m always worrying people will hate it, and so on. I grew up in a family of extroverts and have always felt there was something incredibly wrong with me, only to find out later that I’m introverted and that there’s nothing wrong with me at all. I just struggle with things extroverts tend not to.

    Basically it’s always nice to see I’m not alone in this. 🙂

      • Wow I really liked that! That’s basically the reason I struggle with trying to find my place in the job world. Having to talk to people constantly and being forced to be, well, more extroverted when all I want to do is have some interaction and be able to break away when it gets to much, there’s really nothing like that at the moment.

        I’d love to see something more cohesive between introverts and extroverts in a work environment, and socially overall, in the future. That’d be neat. Thanks for showing this to me. 😀

  4. The more I get to know other writers, the more I realize that so many of us are introverts. I am definitely in that camp and struggle with the same things you do, Chris. I am not looking forward to the promotion aspect of being an author. 🙂

    At the risk of sounding a little know-it-all, I thought I’d just add a bit of info about introverts since I work in the mental health field and have a bit of knowledge about extroverts vs. introverts. The main difference between the two has to do with where you get your energy from. In other words, extroverts “recharge” themselves by being around others and socializing. Introverts, on the other hand, “recharge” by being alone or doing solitary things. Socializing and being around other people is draining on the introvert, which is often why they tend to avoid or feel great discomfort in being in large groups or having to give talks in front of a group of people.

    Some people (not you or anyone who’s commented) confuse being an introvert with being shy or quiet. While there are a lot of introverts who are those things, I know many introverts who are not the least bit shy or quiet.

  5. Sup. I too am an introvert.

    It always bewilders me when someone demands to know about my book, I shyly give them the one-sentence description, and they tell me they want to buy a copy. Like you, I feel bad asking people for favours, because I don’t want to waste their time or money. So when people tell me they want to buy my book, even though I love my book, I can’t help thinking, “Why? Are you sure?”

  6. Hi Chris, that’s me. I always thought it was me being anti-social. I hate large groups of people, I hate the thought of being the centre of attention and I too hate the thought of asking a favour or thinking I’ve put someone out. Great post 🙂

  7. I can totally relate! I’ve always believed that we introverts have the hardest life… stuck between our desire to remain within ourselves and the pressure of society to come out and speak out. But that’s what makes us even stronger and special 🙂 Great post!

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