Pa and Me


I had to write another monologue for my Creative Writing class. And, just like my previous Monologue, (which can be found here),  it has no personal meaning to me, nor does it have any relevance to my life. Enjoy!

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I felt terrible digging my spurs so deeply into the horse. I mean, just because I was in a hurry didn’t mean the horse had to suffer. I suppose I should probably feel worse for that deputy, though. Having his brains splattered all over the floor of the bank and all. But, I told him to put the gun down. It’s his fault for not listening to me. Now the bank vault is empty and I’m a few hundred-dollars richer.

It was a small town bank; the kind of town with more tumbleweeds than people. Even the “Sheriff” sign was barely hanging on to the top of the building. I was just passing through when I saw him—the deputy outside. The deputy who looked exactly like my Pa.

Pa was a real family-man. He loved to come home from the saloon—blind drunk and fists swinging at my Ma. Just before he hit her, he would lean down in front of me, as I was just a little tyke at the time, and say, “I reckon little girls like you, Sarah, ought to go wait in their room.” I would always run away as fast as I could. I hated to hear Ma cry.

My older brother took a swing at him once. That was probably the worst thing he could have done. Pa really gave him a thrashing after that. I’m surprised my brother lived, to be honest.

Not long after that, Pa came home with a gun. It was a beautiful, gleaming six-shooter. I loved the sound of the cylinder as it spun. The smooth sliding sound each round made as it comfortably slid into each designated slot. The clear click as the cylinder locked into place. However, he rarely showed it to us. He also refused to shoot it in front of us. I always thought that was odd. Being such a violent man and all, I figured he might love to show us how it worked.

A few years later, on my fifteenth birthday, actually, I finally got to see how it worked. Pa said he would take me out to the range and shoot it all by myself. I was so excited. I wanted to hold it the entire ride. But, when Ma returned from the general store, the wagon broke. The wheel broke off right in front of the house. Pa sure wasn’t happy. I was sad, yes. But Pa became consumed with rage. He grabbed the revolver from his dark, leather holster and shot her dead, right in front of us. I can still hear the crack of the gunshot echoing off the distant mountains.

My brother didn’t like that one bit. He grabbed for the revolver, but Pa shot him dead, too. Now not only was I not gonna be able to go to the range, but Ma and my brother were both dead. Well that didn’t sit well with me.

Pa leaned down in front of me, like he always did when things were bad, and told me it wouldn’t hurt. I didn’t know what he was talking about, though. I looked down and he had the barrel resting gently against my stomach. All I could do was smile. All these years, all the violence and he thought I was going down like that? Boy was he wrong. I snatched that gun and shot him dead, right in the forehead.

After looking at everyone around me, all the people sleeping the sleep of the dead, there wasn’t much left for me to do. So, I grabbed the box of revolver rounds from Pa’s nightstand and took off on his black stallion.

Now, here I am, stuck running from the law, from all these deputies that look just like Pa. And, all I have to show for the hard work of stopping men like my father is these sacks full of money, and the blood on my hands.

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14 thoughts on “Pa and Me

      • Stark material in this case and my opinion would be the gritty monologue. You do not shy away from the material that forms your narrator. Where it could be more oblique. I suppose the best way to sum up stark material is black&white versus 1000 shades of gray. What forms your narrator’s character is laid out in an inescapible fashion. The phrase should not be taken negatively. I just meant that the monologue stood out for being matter-of-fact about the conflict that moved the character.

  1. This was pretty fantastic! I loved your tone throughout the piece, and the storyline was great. It’d be nice to see it fleshed out a bit, to iron out some of the bumps. I think this would make an excellent short story!

      • It’s just a little rushed in spots (which I think is why it would do well as a short story), and some of the phrasing seems a little odd for the character. Most of the time the voice was excellent, but every once in a while I could hear a bit of you in there. Also – I’d be curious to learn why Sarah was able to shoot her father dead, even though it seemed like she had a lot of respect for him. Her and her brother just sounded like polar opposites. I think there’s some interesting psychology to explore there. OH! And I forgot to mention how incredible that last line was. Perfect ending!

  2. Great piece of writing again,…But I’d like to know what you eat just before you go to bed :)? You certainly do create interesting characters with disturbing histories….I’m wondering if there is some way to tie these together – maybe they’ll all be patients in a mental asylum. Anyway, keep at it – really enjoy your writing!

    • Thank you! I’m glad you enjoy my writing! 🙂

      As for how I come up with these: I honestly don’t know. I generally just sit down with a basic idea, or a basic character, and then I just type and see what comes out.

      And, tying them together in some way might be an interesting idea. Perhaps it’s just one person who has random flashbacks to past lives. There could be a novel idea in here somewhere!

  3. Great idea…I’ve played with the idea of past lives for characters. But a few short stories might be a great start….. Look forward to reading more.
    I do have a question: does posting on WORDPRESS count as publishing? I haven’t posted any of my ‘serious’ writing because I’m concerned a publisher wanting first rights would not accept my submission. Any thoughts?

    • I don’t think publishing on WordPress really counts. You’re not putting it up for sale or anything like that. I think it would be like posting it on any other website. I feel like, in order for it to be officially published, it needs to go through either an official publishing company, or a self-publishing website.

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